My 911
by lezonne
Summary: 9/11 took everything away from her. Now complete! **Photo not mine.**
1. Chapter 1

**My 9/11**

**Chapter 1**

Nine Eleven took everything away from me. It took my family down into the smoke, and sent me to L.A. It sent my friends to other homes too, it took away my boyfriend and anything I'd ever cared about.

Nine Eleven sent me here, to L.A, to my aunt and uncle, to live as though nothing happened. I hide the real reason I now live her, I hide the fact that my aunt and uncle are terrified I'm crazy, I hide who I really like buy covering it up by pretending I love Jackson.

I'm not good; I'm terrible. I let them die. I should've gone with them that morning, gone with them to the Twin Towers, and maybe I wouldn't be suffering like I am right now.

I sit in my room, in the middle of the floor, sobbing like I've done so long before. They're gone, and they ain't coming back. I wish the others knew this is my life, not the happy one people see at school. My parents are dead, my brothers too, the only people who know are myself and my aunt and uncle. Even Nathan doesn't know.

Six months since we got back. Today is Nine Eleven. Eight years since the tragedy. Why isn't it getting easier to forget? Why can't I make the pain lessen?

I remember their bodies, bloodied and broken, being wheeled into the hospital, words unspoken. I hade tried to rush to them, terrified they were gone, but no, its too late. They were dead.

The images have never left my mind. I can't make them. They're implanted there forever. No one can erase them. I never want anyone to. It reminds me of humanity, how cruel it can be, and that that's why I'm here. It keeps me from going completely insane.

I rock on my heels. I wish someone knew. I wish someone would tell me what to do. I can't tell Nathan, he's just to protective and would take it personally that I haven't told him for so long. Daley would freak out. Taylor has no brain. Lex would think rationally, but he's an eleven year old kid now! He doesn't need my burdens. I don't know Jory and Ian well. Abbey would go crazy trying to help me. Jackson would worry every second if I told him.

That leaves the one person I think can help me. I pull out a paper and pen, writing down my troubles, seal the letter in an envelope, and rush out of the house, down the block, tyring to be quick, two streets voer, and seven houses down, and stop.

I drop the letter in Eric's mailbox and rush home.

________________________________________________________________________

Later that night I receive a phone call.

"Mel?"

"Eric?"

"I'm so sorry."

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**HMM? Should it be a one-shot or should it go on? R&R please.**


	2. Chapter 2

**My 9/11**

**Chapter 2**

**Melissa**

"It's not your fault," I sob, holding myself together just barely.

"you should've told someone Mel, someone earlier than this. We could've helped. I would've helped-"

"I know," I say, sobbing harder. "I know. But it hurts to much to talk about."

"I bet it does." He sounds so sympathetic.

"I wish I had."

"Mel, do you wanna talk about it-"

"Not on the phone! Come-" I glance at the clock that reads almost 11:00, "tomorrow morning since there is no school. No. . .no I'll go over there-"

"Mel, Mel its okay. Yeah, come over sometime tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Mel, its gonna be okay."

"No, nothings okay anymore."

I hear him sigh. "look, I'll come get you tomorrow instead, that way you don't have to worry about anything on the way over. There are allot of mean guys on these blocks that could hurt ya. I'll come get you no later than 10 ok?"

"O-okay Eric."

"K Mel. I'll see you in the morning. Bye."

"Bye." I turn off the phone and silently continue to cry for my losses.

________________________________________________________________________

**Eric**

I stare long and hard down at the letter Mel wrote to me earlier today. The words seem to dance before me:

Eric-

I never told anyone this. My parents died in 9/11. My two older brothers died, and my boyfriend. I-I have never been able to tell anyone. I've always been afraid of how they would react. I don't know who else to turn to. It hurts knowing they died because of me. They left that morning and I could've gone with and died too. It's not fair Eric its not fair! I want my parents and my brothers and my boyfriend back! It's not fair! When you read this call me.

-Melissa.

Poor Melissa. I called her right after I read it. No one's ever trusted me to help them before. The feeling is unnatural.

But if only she knew how wrong she is about it being her fault. I'll have to convince that of her tomorrow. For now, sleep.

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**Ever notice I love EricXMel? You should've! R&R! Yes the chapters in this are short. Sorry but that's what you've got so far. **


	3. Chapter 3

My 9/11

Melissa

**At 9:01 that next morning, I stand at the door, feeling as though I can't escape the walls fast enough. They seem to press me in, imprison me in what I did those years before. 9/11 wasn't entirely my fault, but letting my family and boyfriend die without me was. I could have committed suicide, if the cops hadn't stopped me. Life would have been so much easier. Life would be over.**

**My aunt and uncle glance at me when they think I wont notice, but it's of ill use. I can see out of the corners of my eyes when they look at me, worried over what's going inside my head. They should be. I'm not the sweet, carefree, peacemaker girl the school thinks I am.**

**Forty minutes later, I spot Eric turning the corner. My heart accelerates. Finally I can get out of here. "I'm going out," I call to my aunt and uncle, grabbing a jacket and rushing out the door as quickly as possible, actually running headfirst into Eric.**

**"Mel," he asks, touching my face slightly as I stumble back. "Are you okay? What's the rush?"**

**"Fine," I say, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the park two streets over. "I just," I fight back a couple tears that threaten to spill out of my eyes, "I just can't be in a room with walls right now. Let's go to the park. I want to be outside." He nods, a bewildered look on his face.**

**We get there, and I take in the green trees and the slightly blowing wind that catches my hair; the birds that chirp and a single squirrel. The scene relaxes me. It's just like the park in New York I ran to after the towers fell. Being away from it all had helped to clam me slightly. Then of course, I'd tried jumping off a bridge so that hadn't gone terribly well. But parks still helped me settle. The woods would be better but I have no strength to go find any or the patience to drive to a forest.**

**I fall onto a bench, keeping myself together as best I can. I'm afraid to start talking to Eric. He's fantastic, but what if he doesn't understand? He wasn't there when the towers fell, so how would he know or understand what's happening to me? Simple: he can't. He can tell me its okay but he'll never understand.**

**So I begin, fighting back tears harder than I ever had. "I-I never got to tell them goodbye! I didn't-I didn't know the last time I saw them would really be the last time. I wish I had. I'd have gone with. I would've died too. I would've never let them go. I would've held on forever. I wouldn't be suffering. I'd finally be at peace for my sin-or the sin I would've never created!"**

**Finally I let those tears fall. They pooured out at the last words, spilling out of my eyes and down my cheeks creating lines. And Eric held me. He rocked me and told me to calm down and keep going.**

**It was the best thing anyone had ever done.**

**He didn't mutter lies to me. He didn't tell me it was all going to be okay. He let me talk about the troubles I've shoved down for so many years.**

**And never once did he interrupt. He let me drone on and on for what seemed like hours about those earlier years. What I missed most: how my mother laughed like flutes and how my father was always so sure. How my brothers used to joke with me and make me laugh, and who the baby had been so young and innocent like the others who fell that day. I told him about my old friends. I told him about the large amount of emptiness inside of me that was slowly killing me. I told him about the town I lived in, my attempts of suicide that first year, the ways I revolted and rejected common sense. And he just let me speak without interruption. I could've kissed him right then just for that; but I didn't.**

**He pulled back and looked at me in the eyes, straight on. "Mel, I understand how hard this is for you. Well, that's a lie I guess. I can never really understand it. But you need to get past all of this eventually. Dwelling on things like this isn't healthy. It just makes letting go harder. You're family-and boyfriend-wouldn't want you this way-so broken and diluted."**

**"I-I don't know who to Eric."**

**"I'll help you Mel."**

**"Really?"**

**"That's what I'm doing now. I wont stop till you're better Mel." I gaze up at him for a moment, almost overjoyed someone finally understands-somewhat-what happened to me. I leaned into his chest.**

**"There are five stages of depression like this Mel. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. You're still in stage three Mel, because no one ever helped you-or helped you correctly."**

**"I don't k-know how t-to move on Eric."**

**"Of course not. Its not easy. Most people struggle through it. Denial and Anger are the hardest. Bargaining is easier. That's just more dangerous. When you bargen its worse suicide than what you've done. You will have to fight. I'll help you Mel. I won't give up. I promise."**

**I pulled away and looked up at his kind eyes again. Slowly, carefully, I kissed him on the cheek, then even lighter on the lips.**

**"Thank you Eric. You're my whole world."**

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**Took forever but that's the end. Sorry but I was busy and then I couldn't decide how to write this. I hope it suites you. Please R&R on this final chapter.**


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